Screwtape Revisited

My dear Wormwood,

I am disappointed in you. I told you before that your campaign to have AHappy Holidays replace Merry Christmas had to be undertaken with infinitesimal patience in order that it be accomplished through persuasion not commands. It is one thing to persuade businesses that they offend fewer people by substituting the generic Ahappy holidays instead of the traditional AMerry Christmas. It is quite another to have them forbid their employees to say Merry Christmas.

Human beings, weak-kneed contemptible creatures that they are, nonetheless cling to their so-called Afree will as though their miserable little souls depended upon it. Most often their stubborness works in our favor, as we can utilize it to bend their will toward rebellion against the Enemy. But only so long as we persuade them that they are acting in their own initiative and self interest. A demon with your training should have sufficient prudence to know that commands coming from their employers would incite this obtuse stubbornness, as it has, bringing to mind how much in fact they enjoy and love Christmas, which is precisely the opposite of our goal.

No, nephew, you must lull them into a state of forgetfulness if you are to succeed. Begin by a campaign of disinformation which states that far more people are left out of Christmas than actually are, and that far fewer celebrate it than actually do. Whatever you do, utilize every resource to keep them from knowing the truth B our research shows that over 84% of the earthlings in your area of operation indulge in this disgusting holiday in one way or another. To our shame, we have discovered a variety of souls decidedly in our camp, respectable pagans and athiests, have put up lights and exchanged gifts. Upon occasion, when they think no one is listening, we've even caught them humming those horrid carols. Such betrayals we punish mercilessly.

Yet our campaign to rub out Christmas can only proceed by advocating a policy of absolute suppression of such details. To the contrary, we must diligently promote an atmosphere that minimizes its popularity B transforming it in the public mind from a communal and nearly universal celebration to a narrow, backward event, patronized only by an ignorant, unthinking folk who probably meet secretly as the Flat Earth Society. Once so labeled, it becomes a matter of decency to remove it from the public square as you would a culinary oddity, esteemed by the few but too extreme for public consumption.

You see, my dear Wormwood, the first layer of Christmas that must be erased is any notion that it has any actual or historical significance. It must be treated as a , myth, understandable perhaps for ancient or superstitious people, but something that contemporary, cultured, well-educated people can hardly abide. We do much better if we shame people out of mentioning Christmas rather than command it out of them.

Yes, I know, I am well acquainted with your attempt to reduce Christmas to a children's holiday. Yet if you had been as diligent in your studies as you suggest, you would know that such strategy has been tried for centuries with disappointing effect. Demons more ingenious than you worked hard to blend the facts of Christmas in with folk lore and fairy tales, so that Jesus, Mary and Joseph were set right along side elves, reindeer, and Santa, as though they all came from the same fanciful cloth. Let me assure you that this strategy doesn't work. Parents are more than happy to Akeep Christmas for their kids and in so doing continue to celebrate and enjoy it not only for their kids but for themselves.

The sensible approach is to build on the herd instinct of humans. They are truly lazy creatures who rarely muster the energy to think for themselves. Never underestimate their need for conformity. All you have to do is make them think that the vast majority of human beings believe the thing you want them to believe, and you're three-quarters the way to making them believe it as well. If they're social climbers, you may need only have to convince them that the group they want to join believes what you want them to believe. Trust me. If they think for a moment they'll face rejection for their loyalty to Christmas, they will abandon it as though it was infected with black plague.

You also misunderstand the commercialization of Christmas. By commercializing Christmas, we in no way intended to increase it's celebration. Rather, we took people who already celebrated Christmas with enthusiasm and used their enthusiasm to transform it from what the Enemy calls a gift but is really a bribe to defect B into something that requires tedious labor in order to possess. Since they were bound and determined to celebrate Christmas anyway, we went along with them, but all the while whispering to them that Christmas depends upon their making it happen. We bragged on them reminding them that each previous Christmas was successful only because it was their gifts, their preparation, their shopping, their hard work which made it a success. You'd be surprised how easily they buy this fiction. And once they do, it becomes only sensible to suggest that if they are to succeed this year, they must outdo their previous efforts. Time and again we have turned Christmas from a time that gave them pleasure into a onerous ordeal that sucked every drop of blood out of them, leaving them in the end exhausted, broke, empty, and in debt.

I notice you seem to think you have accomplished something now that people are fighting over whether they can exchange Christmas greetings. You write that you think it's quite an irony that humans quarrel over a holiday that is supposed to bring Apeace on earth. I'll tell you what's happened. You have awakened in the very souls you were commissioned to infect with amnesia a strong conviction of their love for Christmas. Despite the Enemy's Public Relations campaign about Apeace on earth that heralded His illegitimate birth, there was little peaceful about Him. In fact, He proclaimed unabashedly that He came not to bring peace but a sword. I assure you he doesn't mind his followers standing up for him, risking rejection and ridicule; in fact, He encourages it.

Of course, as with any battle, your task is to change your charges' focus away from holiday they are supporting and center it instead on the wickedness of their adversaries. Entice them to get down and dirty. If by some stroke of cleverness you can draw them into mud-slinging with our troops, then by all means lend them a shovel. Redirect their attention from the holiday they're defending to rather hating and vilifying and maligning their adversaries, and when it is over, they will have missed Christmas altogether.

But let us be crystal clear here. Our aim is not to make Christmas a commercial holiday or an antiquated holiday or a children's holiday or even a contentious holiday. Our aim is to obliterate Christmas from the calendar. Our most feared and worshipful Sovereign has declared that Christmas is an abomination. It rehearses the violent and unconscionable assault of our Enemy upon our turf, trying to reclaim a race of creatures to whom we have clear title (they are our property) since very near to the beginning.

It is not enough that we succeed in weakening Christmas, or that we confuse people concerning its meaning. Our ultimate goal is and must continue to be to wipe it off the face of the earth. Even though on the daily battlefield we take what ground we can, we must never forget what our ultimate goal is, and His Lowness will settle for nothing less. We are not fools. As long as people read the Story, there will be people believing it. As long as people sing carols, hearts will be stirred. As long as people give gifts, and share charity with the poor, it will recall Our enemy's so-called gift. As long as there is Christmas, treason is afoot.

Affectionately Yours,

Screwtape

This Article was published on 05/31/2007 and filed in